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Poornima Manco

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fortunate

Incapacitated

October 14, 2013 by poornimamanco

It has been two, nearly three weeks that I have been incapacitated with a back injury. From being in acute agony, to being in relative discomfort, it has been an illuminating journey.

I am not a stranger to ill health. However, I have always been the one standing outside, looking in. Never having suffered from any major chronic complaints myself (touchwood), it has always been an experience once removed. I have seen suffering, incapacity, hospitalisation and death, all caused by various kinds of disease. It has not been the most pleasant thing to watch. Ironically, though, I have lived in a bubble, thinking that none of it is ever going to touch me.

Don’t most of us take our bodies for granted, just a little bit? How often do we stuff that extra slice of cake down, or finish that bottle of wine, or blow off the much needed exercise? Our bodies are amazing mechanisms, but they need an equal amount of love and care lavished on them. Too often, we are chasing our own tails to realise that none of it will be possible without a fully functioning, healthy body.

Which brings me to the point of where does the mind come into play? We have had an extremely stressful time of it, in the last few months. Instinctively, I feel this has contributed to my injury and subsequent incapacitation. Mainstream medicine has accepted how powerful the mind is. In my case, it has literally broken my back. It has forced me to slow down, take stock, introspect and most importantly, let go.

As I am mending my body and my mind, I have reconnected with people I have not seen or spoken to, in years. I have had the time to laugh a little, cry a little and live a lot. So, these three weeks have not been wasted. If anything, they have taught me the lesson of living in the moment. For it is ‘this’ moment that counts. Not the one that has passed, or the one that may or may not arrive.

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Filed Under: back, Blog, disease, fortunate, injury, old age, power of the mind, Uncategorized

Birthday Blues

September 22, 2013 by poornimamanco

So, the milestone birthday has been and gone. All I felt at the time was excited anticipation and a cognisance of being very blessed to have my loved ones around me.

A few years on, and around my birthday this time, I have had the worst case of blues. Not being a depressive personality, this has taken me quite by surprise. It’s a feeling of listlessness, lethargy, lassitude; feeling devalued, friendless and lost. It is quite difficult to analyse one’s own state of mind. There is no distance there, no sense of perspective.

Is it age related? Perhaps. Post forty, one starts to feel that life is heading downhill. Most of what I hoped to achieve, most of what life could offer, is maybe behind me now? Or maybe, it’s just all of life’s recent events that have snowballed inside of me, and Wham! when I am least expecting it, sledgehammered me into this state of ennui. I have been tearful and morose, cheerless and apathetic. Not much fun at all. Particularly when my children have excitedly baked me a cake, my husband has spoilt me rotten…and my guilt at not cartwheeling happily through the day has only compounded my misery.

So, here’s what I have decided upon. Life is for the living. Forty two or Eighty four, it is what I make of it. I refuse, from this moment on, to be unhappy or self absorbed or let small, inconsequential matters take over what is essentially, a very fortunate life. My mantra hereon is Carpe Diem! Seize the day!

Amen.

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Filed Under: Blog, blues, carpe diem, depression, fortunate, old age, Uncategorized

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