• Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

Poornima Manco

Author

  • Home
  • About Poornima
  • Books
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Free Story
  • Sign up!
  • Privacy Policy

destiny

What’s the point?

January 20, 2024 by Poornima Manco

Every author, regardless of the genre they write in, has some kind of message in their writing. Whether that is good overcomes evil, soulmates exist, happily ever afters are possible, crime doesn’t pay, etc, etc. You get my drift. Now, these messages aren’t necessarily emblazoned on their covers or blurbs. In fact, sometimes, the messages are so deeply buried within the writing that a reader would be hard pressed to vocalise them if asked. But they are there, even in the fluffiest romcom, the bloodiest crime caper, the most nerve-tingling thriller. Search and you will find.

However, sometimes, there is a disconnect between the message sent and the message received. What an author may be trying to say is open to hundreds of interpretations and misinterpretations. It depends on the reader, their mood, their provenance, their cultural history, their upbringing, their exposure to the world and many such factors. That can make for a jarring experience, both for the reader, and also for the author when they read a scathing review of their work. “That wasn’t what I was saying!” An author might cry out in the privacy of their home.

Whose fault is the misunderstanding? The author’s or the reader’s?

Now, having been both, I can tell you that the answer is complex and nuanced. As an author who is trying to put a point across, I want to be subtle. I want to layer my message within the story, the dialogues, the actions of the protagonists and the consequences of those actions. Do I want to beat the reader over the head with my message repeatedly? No! That is the most basic and worst kind of didactic writing there is. Yet, within all of this lies the risk of being misunderstood.

Let’s take the last novel I wrote and released back in 2022: Intersections. Most of the reviews I received were wonderful. Haunting, complex, emotional and compelling were some adjectives used to describe the story. So far, so good. But any writer worth their salt knows that it’s the negative reviews that stick in one’s head. I know of many authors who refuse to read their reviews, content if their works have a high star rating. I, sadly, am not amongst those. I enjoy reading my reviews because I see it as a learning ground. Somewhere I can find out firsthand what my readers are thinking, what I did well and what I could do better.

This one review had me baffled. The reviewer said she found the book was very well written, that I, as the author, had tackled an intricate plot with four alternating viewpoints and kept her engaged throughout. She then went on to talk about the story and finally ended with saying that the reason she wasn’t giving the novel a full five stars, despite having enjoyed it, was because the book didn’t seem to have a point or a higher message. Therefore, she felt it would not endure.

Picture a knife to the heart. That is how gutted I was to read this review. You see, my point had escaped her completely. This novel about four young women from very different walks of life who become friends in childhood, only for their friendship to splinter in their teenage years, for them to go their separate ways and reunite in their forties, had a point and a higher message. I wanted to show how random life can be. How those we perceive to be more fortunate and more blessed than us are subject to the same vagaries of fate as anyone else. Being born into a higher social and economic strata does not ensure happiness nor is it a guarantee of success, while conversely, coming from the lower end of society is not a predictor of misery and failure. Life is messy and unpredictable. Our spheres of control are limited and the sooner we accept that, the quicker we will adapt to and thrive in changed circumstances.

Perhaps it was my fault that my message wasn’t clear enough. Maybe the novel, which begins with an accident, and ends with the reason the accident occurred and the consequences of that fateful evening, felt jarring to this reader because it was too arbitrary to come to terms with. Unfortunately, many a time, life is that way, too.

As I’m working on my next novel, this criticism keeps me wondering whether I’m doing enough to convey my point. This book deals with the circularity of life, of how what goes around comes right back around. Do I keep it understated as I would like to? Or will that be too obscure and unfathomable to a potential reader? I could choose to ignore this reviewer and write what I want to write. That would be at my peril. You see, every reader is precious to me, and their criticism is a part of my growth as a writer.

Therefore, it is incumbent upon me to work on my craft and deliver a reading experience that is consistent with my philosophy, my convictions, and my worldview. Hoping these will be understood and will align with those of the reader, too.

That, after all, is the point.

 

 

Filed Under: 2024, art, author, behaviour, belief, Blog, book, creativity, culture, destiny, experience, indie writer, respect, reviews, thought piece, Writer, writers, writing Tagged With: Books, novel, Review, Writer, Writing

50 Not Out!

September 27, 2021 by Poornima Manco

My father had once told me that life is as unpredictable as cricket. Taking the metaphor further, I can happily report that I have hit my half century with élan. During days of Covid that is not a blessing to be sneezed at! I fully expected to feel some sadness at leaving my youth behind so definitively. Instead, all I feel is a sharp sense of relief. At no point in my life have I ever felt so sure of myself, so comfortable in my skin, and so content with my lot.

Alongside, I’ve learnt quite a few lessons too. This is hard won wisdom, and in detailing it here, my intent isn’t to bore you, but to remind myself how far I’ve come from that gauche, awkward young girl setting foot into her twenties. Of course, there is no end to learning and in the years to come, I hope to amass many more life lessons. However, where I stand today, these are my little nuggets of sagacity. Do with them what you will.

  1. Forgive. My goodness me! If only I’d known how liberating this was. Conventional wisdom always dictated to forgive and forget. I’ve been terrible at both. But as I approached my 50th birthday, all those petty grudges and long-held resentments seemed to fall away. I really didn’t want to carry any of it into my fifth decade. So, my mantra has become forgive, but don’t forget. If someone has wronged me repeatedly, then I’d be a fool to let them do it again. But I will forgive because I do not want to carry the burden of my anger into the future. If I’ve wronged someone, I hope they can find it in their heart to forgive me too.
  2. Ask, don’t assume. Another one of my failings has been to jump to conclusions, often erroneous ones. With only half the information at hand, one can often make totally wrong assumptions. Isn’t it better to just ask, politely? Clarify rather than hypothesize? It’s already serving me well, as I just ask outright if I’m perplexed by someone’s behaviour. More often than not, it turns out to be the most innocuous thing.
  3. Say No and mean it. Aha! This takes many years to solidify into a behaviour choice, especially if you are a people pleaser like me. But, but, but… Time is not an infinite resource. It is up to you to decide where and what you want to spend it on. In my case, I’ve decided that I would rather say no at the very outset than not deliver on a promise.
  4. Be true to yourself, i.e. have some integrity. Recently I’d paid the bill at a restaurant, only to discover later that they had left the entire alcohol tab off the final tally. I could have let it go. After all, it was saving me a pretty packet. But after a sleepless night worrying that I could cost someone their job, I returned to the restaurant to settle the remainder of the bill. Yes, in the short term it hurt my wallet. But in the long term, my conscience and I could live together happily ever after.
  5. Enjoy every day. This is so oft-repeated it’s almost a cliché. It is so important, though, to really stop and smell the roses, to slow life’s treadmill enough to enjoy the view. Who knows which day may be your last?
  6. Have an attitude of gratitude. Really! Try it. Just say thanks to whoever/whatever you believe in. If you have no religious beliefs and think that the world is just chaos, then thank that chaos for everything it’s given you. Life, love, a home, a family, food to eat, clothes to wear, holidays to go on – everything is a gift that we must never take for granted. Just a simple ‘thank you’ will bring many more blessings into your life.
  7. Patience. This from one of the most impatient people you may ever have met. That’s moi! If I could have something day before yesterday, I would. However, life has taught me that all things come to those who wait. Waiting doesn’t mean sitting on your hands and hoping for a million pounds to fall into your lap. It means working quietly and diligently towards your goals without expecting to be rewarded immediately. There is an Indian proverb that goes – सब्र का फल मीठा होता है – which literally means that the fruit of patience is sweet. That it most definitely is.
  8. Confidence. I have two young girls, and I watch them as they navigate the world, unsure of themselves and their place in it. I always pretended I was more confident than I was when I was younger. “Fake it till you make it” was my internal instruction to myself. I don’t need to fake it anymore. Knowing who I am, what I’m not, and that I add value to the world allows me the luxury of being confident, not arrogant. I hope it doesn’t take my girls thirty years to discover their own unshakeable core of assurance.
  9. Growing old is a privilege. Yes, it is, and it’s one denied to many. In the last eighteen months when we’ve lost so many loved ones to Covid, it is even more important to acknowledge that living to a ripe old age is yet another blessing, a prerogative that only the lucky have.
  10. A legacy of kindness. What do we leave behind that is truly important? Wealth, name, fame? Or, the fact that we may have touched someone’s life with a little bit of kindness? To me, that is the only legacy that matters.

50 not out! It’s been a fantastic game so far, and I’ve hit a few sixers along the way. The day I’m bowled out, I hope everyone says, “She had a good innings.”

Because, you see, I really did.

Filed Under: 2021, acceptance, Age, Ageing, behaviour, belief, Blog, Covid-19, creativity, culture, Death, destiny, dignity, family

Hurry up, slow down

December 30, 2019 by Poornima Manco

Where has 2019 gone? I mean, seriously! I know we tend to say this every year when we look back, but this year in particular, has just sped past. Scarily so! Is this a side-effect of ageing? Remember when we were children and time seemed to pass soooo slowwwwly?

So why the ‘hurry up’ in the title of this blog post? Well, it’s quite a personal thing. You see, I am now more than ever, acutely aware that my time on this planet is limited. Gone are the days of youthful insouciance, knowing in one’s bones that there are decades to follow, many many years to accomplish, live, love, party and work. Now, it’s a slow winding down to a more sedate living; less partying, possible retirement and fewer accomplishments. Not yet, I know, but not that far off in the future either.

Hence, there is a need within me to try and hurry up in accomplishing all the goals I have set myself. Writing more books, travelling to far-flung places, reading all the classics I missed the first time around, watching highly-regarded Television shows, discovering little-known gems of movies, doing more and being more. All these desires and the realisation of the paucity of time.

One could argue that no-one knows exactly how long we have to live, so really, the mantra should be to live every day as if it were your last. In reality, though, that is an exhausting thought. Who wants to spend each day chasing goals? I don’t know about you, but I have good days and bad days. Days that I want to do sod-all and days that I am at my productive best. It is in fits and starts and bursts of energy and inspiration that I move forward.

My slow down is an appeal not just to time (when has that ever happened?) but also to myself. In hurtling towards doing more and being more, it’s easy to miss the beauty of just being. There is so much joy and satisfaction to be found in sitting around a dinner table with your family, discussing the mundane details of life. Such pleasure to be had over a cup of coffee with a friend, catching up or reminiscing. So much contentment in sipping a glass of wine in front of the fireplace, sitting quietly with your partner, letting the hypnotic dance of the flames lull you into a serene state of equanimity.

Perhaps it is finding a balance between the hurrying up and slowing down that allows one to live one’s best life. So, here’s to 2020. May it be the best of both.

🍾🥂🎊

Filed Under: 2019, 2020, acceptance, ambition, author, behaviour, belief, Blog, creativity, destiny, experience, indie writer, new year, new year resolution

Turn back time

December 21, 2019 by Poornima Manco

 

Oddly, synergistically even, I have started to watch two TV shows about time travel. One is the series based on the books by Diana Gabaldon, called ‘Outlander’, and the other is a new French series that Netflix suggested I might enjoy, called ‘Il etait une seconde fois’ (Twice upon a time). I’m only two episodes in on the first and partially through the first episode on the second. Although hugely different in cast, location and treatment, the premise is one of returning to the past, through some strange, magical happenstance.

As humans, we are continually fascinated with the idea of time travel, and explore this in many mediums, whether that is in books like ‘The Time Traveller’s Wife’, movies like ‘Back to the Future’ or television series like ‘Doctor Who’. The ability to challenge space and time is like an itch that needs scratching to be soothed. But why are we so taken with the idea of returning to the past? After all, unlike the future, where events are yet to unfold and therefore, there is a natural curiosity to find out more, we are already familiar with what has occurred historically, and indeed, intimately familiar with our own, personal histories.

Could it be, that in our desire to return to particular places and times in our past, we seek to amend or rectify our mistakes? Could it be, that having suffered bereavement or loss, we seek to spend time in the company of loved ones, knowing in hindsight that it will not last forever? Could it also be, that we seek to reimagine ourselves in our yet-to-be-determined futures once again?

Regardless of what we imagine or seek, turning back the clock is an impossibility. As they say, time and tide wait for no man. However, there are no boundaries to our imagination. So we continue to explore, examine and extrapolate the endless possibilities of breaking through such barriers.

Let us consider though, if ever, in the distant future, time travel did become possible, what life would be like. We could be stuck in loops of indecision, wanting to continuously examine the various permutations of a given choice and perhaps, returning over and over again to change seemingly minor moments that led to momentous shifts. How exhausting that would be! Would we be pushing the rewind button on our lives all the time? Would we ever be able to live with the choices and decisions we made at any given point? Would we grow, evolve, change or learn? What a great TV show that would make!

Hindsight is 20/20 and there may be several occasions in the past that we would love to be able to return to and steer our lives differently, but learning to live with the consequences of what we decided in that given moment, with the information and wisdom we possessed back then, is what maturity and growth are all about.

The fact is that life does progress linearly, from birth to death. Yes, it’s wonderful to imagine alternatives, but really, what is even more wonderful is to take nothing we have or do for granted. The inability to change the past, and the futility of trying to predict the future, is what makes life the thrilling ride that it is.

But when reality gets tedious and boring, there is always vicarious time travel to be indulged in. Go on, enjoy yourself! It’s Christmas, after all.

Filed Under: 2019, adventure, behaviour, belief, Blog, change, creativity, destiny, fate, life, time travel, travel

My Cup Runneth Over…

May 6, 2019 by Poornima Manco

I started my Guest Blog month in the hope that at least 50% of the people I had contacted for articles (people whose thoughts, lives and words I admired) would get back to me with some material. In actual fact, nearly 80% did! Yes I did pester and harangue them quite a bit (SORRY!) but my goodness, the response! I am humbled, grateful and overwhelmed beyond description.

My month overran, once again, like last time. But I didn’t mind and nor did my readers. It’s refreshing to come to a blog and read something new and unexpected. And boy, were the articles different and the topics varied!

André chronicled his unusual life and path in My unlikely journey to fatherhood. It was honest, heartfelt and emotionally uplifting. The response to his article was phenomenal. People reached out to tell him (and me) how much they admired him for his choices. His love for his children and their mothers shone like a beacon, and I hope it allowed other seemingly unlikely candidates to believe that they too can be mothers and fathers. After all, families come in all shapes and guises. It is love that holds them together.

The ghost in the office was Shantanu’s retelling of a mysterious series of events that occurred in one of his early offices. Does the supernatural exist? For a practical and rational person like Shantanu, nothing can explain away the incident he mentions. Spooky and eerie, sometimes there are things that are beyond the realm of our understanding, and maybe it’s best to leave them as is. What did you make of it?

Diya had a cushy existence till she decided to take the plunge and start teaching a group of underprivileged children in My rendezvous with God’s angels. What she found there was more rewarding than she could have ever expected. Their innocence, their eagerness to learn, their love for their teacher transformed her life. She learned to let go of the petty annoyances that plagued her, and immerse herself in giving back. To this day, it enriches her life in ways big and small.

Making mosaics became more than a hobby for Jyoti. It was an unconventional choice of craft and she encountered more than her fair share of problems, from the paucity of tools to the reluctance of other practitioners to share their skills. As a result, she started her own blog with the aim of helping other beginners and amateurs to source materials, tools and provide guidance in the process as well. Not only does she create the most beautiful mosaics, but also believes in the adage – ‘Gaining knowledge, is the first step to wisdom. Sharing it, is the first step to humanity.’ In Why do I make mosaics? Jyoti’s passion, humanity and humility shine through. She is an incredibly inspirational lady.

The Call of a Siren was an article sent to me by someone who wished to remain anonymous. If you’ve read the article, you will know why. The beauty of it is that this man has turned his life around from that lapse of judgement he details, and today he is an incredibly successful entrepreneur. He is also an avid reader and dabbles in the occasional bit of writing. It was my exhorting him to put pen to paper that created this thrilling recounting of an incident from his 20’s. I’m sure you’d agree that it reads like an episode from an exciting television series. My own heart was thumping as I read it for the first time! My friend, if you’re reading this, write more. You do have a gift.

HeartonWheels is Jeanne’s raison d’etre. She spends half her life in these refugee camps in Greece helping children overcome the trauma of escaping from war torn countries and being separated from their families. In extremely difficult conditions, she tries to fill their lives with laughter and with joy. This is not just a part time job for her, it is a calling. She is invested physically, mentally and emotionally in the well being of her charges. Her dream is to provide free education to all children in such conditions and through her mobile bus, which she is raising funds for, she hopes to realise this dream. Do have a read and contribute to her justgiving page if you can.

To say that Mohana has had an interesting life would be an understatement. A straight A student, who, for many years let her academic qualifications dictate the course of her life, then suddenly, on what seemed like a whim, let her art and talent take her on an entirely different journey. Yet, in her article, Life’s Nudges to Eke an Untrodden Path, Mohana explains how the seeds of this journey had been planted many years ago. The daughter of a renowned dancer, Mohana herself was an exceptionally talented danseuse. But it took many years, and many tiny hints from the Universe for her to realise where her true path lay. Unapologetically spiritual, she incorporates elements of her faith in her dance. There is an unalloyed joy that she transmits to her students through her teaching, that elevates her dance from the ordinary to the extraordinary.

Bharat is a writer I admire immensely. His grasp on the English language is breathtaking. He can bend, twist, transmogrify and transmute words into astonishing combinations of sentences, transporting the reader into worlds where these words dance and twirl around one like whirling dervishes. A man whose imagination is so fertile, so fecund that he can trot out poem after poem without breaking a sweat. Yet, a self confessed procrastinator, it took me close to a year to get him to write about his Vipassana experience. For a man of words, how strange it must have been to have none for ten days. A retreat that is a true test of one’s mettle, but also a retreat that helps one to delve deeper into the self. Bharat’s take on it is part humorous, but there is an underlying awe and a deep love and respect for humanity that comes through. A tale of two beards is more than just about beards, it is about man’s search for meaning and silence in a world that grows louder and more chaotic each day.

Finally, the poignant and heart wrenching The Bus Stop was Joan’s tribute to her mother who suffered from Alzheimers for several years before succumbing to it. Disease of any kind strips the body of its well being and dignity, but Alzheimers strips the mind of everything. To not know oneself, one’s own life forgotten, one’s family becoming strangers, must be a horribly scary and isolating experience. Joan’s poem gives words to the wordless. It is an insight into a lost and wandering mind, trying to find its bearings, trying to grasp fruitlessly at memories that are slipping away. ‘Am I a lost article?’ is what her mother asked her once. Maybe we all are, lost in one way or another. But to be lost to oneself… what could be worse than that?

My Guest Blog month hasn’t quite ended. A colleague, the extremely intelligent, erudite, politically astute, deep thinking Joke Brunt is working on a series of articles on Brexit for me. The month of May will be devoted to her take on what Brexit stands for, and what the ramifications will be, to those of us on both sides of the fence. Do keep reading, keep commenting and stay engaged!

A very BIG thank you to all of my contributors once again.

Filed Under: 2019, adventure, ambition, art, artist, author, beauty, behaviour, belief, bharatanatyam, Blog, blogging, blogs, Body, Brexit, care home, career, change, comfort zones, creativity, culture, dance, destiny, dignity, disease, Education, empathy, environment, experience, ghost story, guest blog month, Guest blogger, happy, heart, identity, inspirational, life, love, meditation, mosaic making, mosaics, movement, old age, optimism, poem, poetry, politics, refugee, refugee camps, respect, sadness, simplicity, talent, unusual journey, vipassana, woman, women, Writer, writing

The Bus Stop – by Joan Foulks

April 30, 2019 by Poornima Manco

I waited for the bus

But the bus just passed me by

I had the ticket in my hand

The schedule memorised

 

The destination isn’t clear

Just somewhere far away from here

Somewhere where I won’t be scared

Where my aloneness can be shared

 

I’m tired of staring at the wall

The words in books I can’t recall

My past times now so meaningless

Their joys? – diminished nothingness

 

I can’t remember who I am

Or friends I might have known

We’re all strangers in my brain

Silent shadows each alone

 

Time has somehow stopped for me

Invisible I can’t get free

I’ve become the living dead

Hopeless, all I feel is dread

 

The Present needs the Past and Future

To be real and not conjecture

Lost in timeless fantasy

I’m angry that I can’t find me

 

(Am I a lost article? –

Or a God Particle

In a quantum parallel

Not lost but doing rather well?)

 

I want my life to seem familiar

Not full of loneliness and terror

I want to love and laugh again

I want to live! – not just pretend

 

Why can’t destiny be kind

To my kaleidoscopic mind

Make my worries go away

Make the Past come out to play?

 

If I could just get on that bus

I think I’d sweep away the dust

So memories’ ghosts could reappear

In a clearer atmosphere

 

I know I’d ride and ride and ride

Till I remembered when I died

So I could finally find some peace

And my soul could be released

Into the endless sea

Or the burning sapphire sky

My heart a dancing wild balloon

Drifting towards eternity

 

A poem about dementia by Joan Foulks.

IMG-0773

NPR broadcast a story about a senior care home in Dusseldorf where most of the residents needed only slight assistance, but there were also a significant number who suffered from dementia. Increasingly, some of these residents would walk outside the home and get lost. The Assisted Living Home did not want to have a ‘lock down’ situation, creating a prison atmosphere for those who were mentally and physically sound, but they were also worried about harm coming to those who needed a bit more attention. They thought and thought and then came up with the idea to build a bus stop, a fake one, a place that had the appearance of being a bus stop but where no buses would actually stop. This worked like a charm! The wanderers would gravitate  towards the bus stop and sit endlessly, not marking the passage of time and patiently waiting for the bus that never came. The staff would make a point of checking the bus stop often, to collect their charges and bring them back inside.

It is human nature to want to discover, change surroundings, explore, no matter what the circumstances of ones life. I wrote this poem for my mother. Many of the phrases I used were said to me by her and her fellow companions at the care home where she spent the last three years of her life.

In memory of Margie who would have been 98 on the 29th of April.

10260007_10152031963447539_3236877203699586359_n

1185653_10151571074827539_1532443394_n

Filed Under: 2019, acceptance, Age, Ageing, beauty, belief, Blog, care home, dementia, destiny, dignity, experience, guest blog month, Guest blogger, identity, Inspiration, life, nurture, old age, sadness

  • Go to page 1
  • Go to page 2
  • Go to Next Page »

Footer

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • Home
  • About Poornima
  • Books
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Free Story
  • Sign up!
  • Privacy Policy

Reader's List

Sign up to be the first to hear about my new releases and any special offers! 

Thank you!

Please keep an eye on your inbox to confirm your subscription. Do check your spam box just in case the acknowledgement ends up there!

.

Copyright © 2025 · Author Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in